Is this real life, or is it just Pinrest-y?

{Source}

I have two conflicting obsessions.
The first one is a popular one.
It's the beautiful, grande, picture perfect homes in magazines and on pinterest. Homes that have it all; grand dining rooms, two living areas, amazing mudrooms, huge kitchens with granite countertops, amazing mantels, perfectly matched everything, designer paint.... I'd need millions of dollars and thousands of square feet to fit it all in one house. Yet I pin them by the hundreds, and I've spent time and money attempting to make my home look (and stay) that picture perfect.


I get so frustrated and unhappy with my home. I feel like a failure because my home doesn't look like "everyone else's" meaning what I see online and in magazines. But no matter how beautiful they are, and how much I covet the look, I had to face a fact.

My house is not from a magazine, and I can't live in one temporarily staged for photos. Damn the luck! :)



The second obsession? It's a complete 180 from the first one. It's from twilight. Don't laugh at me.  Ok, you can laugh a little, but stay with me. It's not the horrible acting or desire to be a vampire; {although maybe...lol} it's Edward & Bella's cottage. It's small, and cozy, and full of a mix of styles. Nothing matches. It's kinda messy, and stuff is everywhere. But it's amazing, and cozy, and it feels like you could just walk in and be HOME.

I adore the little stone fence with wooden gate, and the greenery everywhere. The hidden-from-the-world feel of it is so appealing to me. Honestly, much more appealing than my current home that's less than two years old in a brand new subdivision.  Sometimes what we THINK we want because it's the "american dream" isn't really what our heart wants at all!

Here's some interior shots of the cottage for your gawking pleasure:

 This dining area, I covet the most. This "area" is something I'm going to really work to create in whatever home we are in, wherever we are. I think it encourages a cozy, family style meal where everyone can linger and talk and really enjoy each other. No phones allowed!

Another amazing shot with a view of the coffee table vignette. Of course in my house we have to have a tv in the living room or my husband would shrivel into nothing.

My house is also {very sadly} not a movie set and designed by professionals from all over the world, but THIS look is one obtainable by patience, and time collecting pieces I just adore and living in the house not existing in one that feels unhomey but beautiful. 

In this time of Pinterest, blogs, and social media, it's hard to always feel like what you have in inferior. As a restart THIS blog, and dream of what I want it to be, want my home & life to be; I'm going to strive to live to never aim for perfection, but REAL. I LOVE all things DIY, and homemaking. I'm overly ambitious 99.9% of the time, and I often stress myself out so much that I just quit. And take a nap.

But I'm making some big changes in my life, and I want to start sharing this one with ya'll from the get go. Because letting go of perfectionism and living in real life... and being CONTENT with it? That's a big one for me, and I know I'm not the only one. And while it reaches far outside the home, let's start there and tackle one big issue at a time. :)

Indecisiveness & Dinner

Well, so far I've renamed my blog 3 times this week. Still looking for the one that fits perfectly. I'll try to stick with this one until I figure out what I want it to forever be. Thoughts? Ideas?

I'm having a good day. It's a "me" day! ;) I've been washing clothes since 10am, but other than that one chore, I've done nothing but sit in front of the computer since I woke up. Well, I did break briefly to chow on a Subway Turkey Club, but then I was back to my still-warm seat. And that;s about all I have on my agenda for at least another couple of hours....

In the meantime, I wanted to share my new favorite recipe from the week. It's unbelievably easy, and there's no real "cooking" involved.

Fiesta Chicken Lasagna




Ingredients
2 jars (16 oz each) Old El Paso® Thick 'n Chunky salsa
9 uncooked lasagna noodles
1 package (9 oz) frozen cooked Southwest-seasoned chicken breast strips, thawed
1 can (15 oz) Progresso® black beans, drained, rinsed
1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro and/or southwest seasoning of your choice (I personally don't like cilantro that much, and it taste great without it!)
3 cups shredded Monterey Jack cheese (12 oz)


Directions
Heat oven to 375°F. In ungreased 13x9-inch (3-quart) glass baking dish, spread 1/4 cup of the salsa. Layer with 3 noodles and 1/3 each of the chicken, beans, cilantro, salsa and cheese. Repeat layers twice with remaining noodles, chicken, beans, cilantro, salsa and cheese.
Cover baking dish with foil. Bake 40 minutes. Uncover; bake 15 to 20 minutes longer or until hot in center. Let stand 10 minutes before cutting.Tips:
I use the Wal-mart brand Salsa, and get one jar each of Black Bean and Corn Salsa, and Regular Medium Salsa, and mix them. By doing this, you can omit the can of black beans, and viola! an easy recipe made easier! (and Cheaper!)Regular Chicken cut into strips, or chicken fajita meat works great too! I sometimes pre-cook the lasagna noodles to an al-dente consistency. It cuts cooking time in half! All you do is heat is through and dinner is on the table. This meal freezes great!

Religion & Politics

According to Xanga, I have been a member 1504 days. I love you Xanga, but I'm cheating on you with a former love. I become a blogger on blogger.com and I feel it's time to return to my "roots". We'll see how it goes, and if I discover I'm right, I'll move over for good. Until then, I'll post on both. Here's my thoughts for today........




I have these...fears/thoughts/concerns about God and church lately, and I know of no other outlet to voice them than this, so here goes.
I was raised by a Christian family, and have attended church my whole life. Church was only seldom a family event in my middle school/high school years and I opted to go by myself for that time. While I've always believed in GOD, and the bible, and attended church, I've never been one of those people who knows all the verses, and can recite scripture. I've never been so completely immersed in a church family that they were LIKE family. I often forget to pray and be thankful for the good things, instead only remembering my prayers when something bad happens.
I DESIRE to be a better "Christian", and to have daily devotional, have church be a huge part of my life, and be a strong Woman for God.
So why, you ask, is the word Christian in parenthesis above? Because I don't know if I want to fall into the category of what I've seen being called Christians lately. And after living outside of this small town for so long, I realized even more so how closed-minded and black and white I was not only raised, but how so many people think. I'm afraid that the things *I* believe to be true won't allow me to be welcome in a church.
See, I have this problem with organized religion. It's called your "beliefs" because it's JUST that. All these different people back 300 years ago decided to form groups of THEIR interpretation of the bible. And because of that, we now have hundreds of different religions, and religious groups. So which group is "right?" Are the ones who are wrong all going to hell because they read something and their brain interpreted it a different way than their neighbor? I'm sorry, I don't believe in ANGRY Christianity. I consider myself a nondenominational christian, and I consider my beliefs fairly simple. I'll lay out a few of them in a minute, but before I do, I want to venture further down the black and white road. So many churches I've been in, or people I know, only believe in right or wrong. What happened to circumstance?
Here's my beliefs, the reasons why, and thus, the reasons I don't think a church would want me, as most of my own family doesn't even agree:
1. I believe in God, I believe God loves us, and wants us to do good, be kind, praise him, and live a Christ-like life. I don't believe God is full of hate, or should be feared. If God died for our sins, then why should I be afraid? If God loves me, I have no reason to be anything but happy, and comforted.
2. I believe in the bible, and believe you must read it, dissect it, and decide for yourself what it says. Don't let anyone tell you what it all means and just "trust them." It's THE book, read it.
3. I believe if we are to "love our brothers and sisters" that means ALL of them. The black ones, the gay ones, the drug head ones, the ones who do stupid stuff, the black sheep.. ALL of them. Now that doesn't mean I don't want my illegal alien brothers and sisters to go back home and I'll visit Mexico if I want to see them...Or that my lost, drug addicted brothers and sisters don't need help and support.... But I have no hate. We are ALL CREATED EQUAL!!!!
4. On that note, I believe in Gay marriage. (I can hear the gasps now) I'm not gay, will never be gay, and actually have no extremely close friends that are gay. But that doesn't matter. As a straight woman, love was hard enough to find. And as a married woman, I know it's a TREASURE to find. Why deprive others of that? I never made the "decision" to like men. I don't believe people makes the choice to be gay. It certainly can't be an easy lifestyle to live, so I'm just guessing it isn't just the "cool thing to do". I know that the bible says that a man laying with a man is an "abomination", but the same verse states that "eating crab and lobster and wearing clothes made of two fabrics woven together" is also an "abomination". raise your hand if you've ever done either of those things. You think your going to hell? Didn't think so. And besides, if I'm wrong, or if being Gay is so wrong, let GOD judge them, it's his job anyway, not yours. NO HATE!!
5. Abortion is another hot topic right now, and another one where I'm considered "on the fence". See, my problem with picking a side between "pro-choice" or "pro-life" is that there are no circumstances in the laws. Do I believe a 15 year old girl who decided to whore around and ends up pregnant should be allowed to have an abortion? No. But I don't believe in her being forced to ruin her life, or the life of her child by making her raise a baby she doesn't want is the answer either. Clearly, adoption is the best choice in that case. Do I believe that a woman raped that becomes pregnant should be able to abort the child in the FIRST trimester? I believe it should be her choice, yes. But the scenario that plays in my mind is this: Should a woman who has young children at home that depend on her be able to abort a pregnancy that will kill her if she doesn't? YES. I'm sorry, I love kids, and it would KILL me to have to abort a child. Anyone who knows me well knows how much that would hurt me. But if I had a a family at home already depending on me, kids that needed me to be there, I would abort the pregnancy. I think for abortions to be legal, they need to be medical, or under extreme circumstance. There should be no "abortion Clinics" or places where people just decide under their own free will to do so. I think it NEEDS to be a tender subject, and it needs to be less accessible, and more educated. Before any doctor preforms an abortion, make the woman look at facts, watch a video, meet a couple willing to adopt. Show woman ALL of their choices and make a course you have to go through, a test you have to take, and a counselor to meet with first. See? I have no "side". its' yes and no, because I do believe it's a life as soon as the heart starts beating... but I believe every child also deserves a life of quality and substance as well, and sometimes that isn't an option.
5. I believe that this world worries WAY to much about other peoples business and not enough about their own. I believe there is entirely to much hate in this world, to much bad, to much sadness. And I believe God is probably more worried about all of that, than whether or not Joey likes Mike or Annie. I don't think God hates music, or dancing, or women showing their hair & faces, or wearing pants.
See, I want to find a place (doesn't have to be a church if that's what it takes) that doesn't spend all it's time preaching about how others do wrong. I want to find a place to go where others just believe in God, and want to do good for others. I think Mission trips are amazing. Missionaries sacrifice comfort and luxuries in their own life to travel to places and bring good, and God, to other places. That's cool. I want to go somewhere that's about Love, spreading good things, being with other people like you, and helping others live a better, more fulfilling life. I want to go to a Church that isn't full of people just waiting to judge me, but eager to see me, celebrate my family with their families, and be a positive part of each others lives where judgement doesn't pass, just understanding, help, etc. You know I'm actually avoiding church for another reason than these? Through my medical issues, being married, and my own fault, I've gained alot of weight, and I'm uncomfortable with it. And I'm afraid of how I'll be judged if I go to a new church. I'll be the "fat girl that came last Sunday". Sad, right?
It seems simple to me, but others make it sooo complex. Am I afraid friends will read this and like me less, or not at all? Sure. Will I stand behind it anyway? Absolutely. Because I have so many friends that have different views than my own, and I love them just the same. And I would love to get into friendly conversations with them about their views, see different sides. That's how one makes an EDUCATED choice. Someone else may say something I didn't think about, or tell me something I didn't know. And if I changed my mind about something BASED on that, that's ok. But to say I believe something just because someone says it's right, even if I know nothing about it isn't how I decide how I feel about something.
Does a place of happiness and good things to praise God exist? or is it all "House of Damning" where we only hear about what others are doing wrong?